"Did God Really Say?"

     It's a new year and so I'm restarting reading the old testament and doing my thing. I started reading Genesis 3 today. (For those of you playing at home this is "The Fall" chapter.)
    Genesis 3:1-2

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

     The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
    
     I was struck by the serpent's first words, but also how the dialogue continued down a dangerous path. The serpent (AKA Satan) used the PERFECT first words to lure Eve into conversation. "Did God really say?" I would bet the serpent already knew what God had actually said... but this lures Eve, and Adam "who was with her", into conversation with the being plotting their demise. By asking the question "Did God really say?" it led them into a place of questioning God's words, his instructions that were meant for their own well being. 

     How often do we use that thought process to question God's goodness or try and excuse our mistakes or rationalize sin? Or try and find a loophole in one of God's commandments? I am not saying that we should never ask "why" because Job did all the time, or that we shouldn't have intellectual inquiries about different theological, eschatological, or moral topics. Or that we shouldn't study scripture with a critical eye for exegesis... But the temptation to hem and haw and say "well God doesn't REALLY mean I should get drunk," or "God doesn't REALLY mean I need to love everyone," or "Jesus didn't mean it when he said 'I am the way, truth, and the life,' is completely walking in our own flesh and wanting live in our own will instead of following the better plan that the Creator has. 
     I have to stop thinking that my time is my own... It's really the Lord's, just like everything else in this world. 
     What are your saying "God didn't really mean that" to that He wants you to change? Do it, it's worth it. Don't listen to the serpent. James 4:7 and 2 Corinthians 10:5 

Life Happens

Life happens. Just yesterday I semi rebuked my students for not having their reading done (AGAIN) because they used the excuse “It was homecoming! You didn’t expect us to read over Homecoming!” To which I responded, “I was at a wedding this weekend and drove to and from the west side and I still got my work done.” Boo Ya. Somehow they’re still giving excuses. Ah well. They’ll learn the hard way I suppose. I’m doing my job and I set the expectation early that I do my job and they do theirs. If they choose not to take advantage of the opportunities available I can’t force them.

            Anyway, I proceeded to educate them on the fact that there are going to be so many times when “life happens,” things that you don’t expect or plan for are going to happen and all you can do is handle them as they come and not lose sight of the obligations and commitments you have made. Of course, to a high school student, this might not seem so important to keep their “contract” with their teacher to do their work. After all, by signing the syllabus they are indeed agreeing to a contract.

           

            And yet how true this statement has been for me as a student teacher. Life has definitely happened and it has not been easy, nor all that fun. Today, after telling my mentor teacher that Tessie is sick and showing symptoms of neurological damage; stroke, tumor, vestibular, something etc he says, “Well you have had one hell of a quarter.”

            Under. Statement.

            Who knew I’d be telling that to myself again today. In chastising them I also pointed out that fracturing my tailbone wasn’t in the plan. Missing a week of work during one of the most strenuous undertakings as a college student CERTAINLY wasn’t in the plan. And yet, life happens. Poop.

            Let me tell you. Watching my 14-year-old baby girl collapse over and over as she tried to stand was terrifying. It’s the closest thing I can comprehend to having a sick child. I don’t dare compare it completely to having a sick baby… and yet that’s how it feels. Last night when I took Tessie out to potty and have her dinner she was brilliant. No symptoms. Nothing wrong. We sprinted back for dinner (because that’s what you do for dinner!) and throughout the night of being home nothing was wrong. How fast “life happens.”

           

            I did some research, thought symptoms looked like a stroke, (later on after further research and input from friends seems to be more like canine vestibular syndrome. Google it.) and then I woke up Nate. We sat with her and each time we moved she kept trying to follow us. After breaking down for a few minutes I got ready for work, told Tessie to “stay” laying down and Nate went to doze before taking me to the bus.

            All I could think and pray was, “Jesus don’t take my girl yet. I can’t handle it. Too much has happened. Please just wait until after student teaching and then anything and everything can happen and then I can fall apart.” I knew there wasn’t anything I could do at 5/6AM besides trust that she would be ok and try and figure it all out later and get on with my day.

            Oh. And did I mention that I was being observed at 8AM as well? Oh ya sure. My field supervisor (who is wonderful btw) was coming in to observe my first period class. Whoot. The crises seem to happen on the days that I’m going to be observed. And yet how faithful the Lord is to provide through those moments.

            It is humbling to remember that the statement “God never gives you more than you can handle” is complete hogwash. LIFE is more than we can handle! And that’s WHY we need the supernatural power of our Loving Creator. I am weak, frail, and prone to jumping to the worst possibly scenario. Relying on my own strength ends in a helpless, hopeless feeling; relying on and remembering to function under the strength of the Holy Spirit can embolden joy during pain, strength in weakness, and perseverance under the most stressful of circumstances.

            Arguably I’m not allowed to share this part of my life in a public school setting… but what a reality check.

            Back to Tessie… As I read information today online at lunch about different possibilities a line stuck with me as a lady shared about her dog having the whole vestibular thing. It usually resolves itself (thankfully) but she said (paraphrased) “An old dog is the best example of growing old with dignity.” How true. As Tessie was floundering I could see her confusion at what was happening, but as soon as she was lying with her head in my lap there was peace. And confusion aside, she was herself. She wasn’t depressed, she kept trying.

            How much we can learn from our loyal canine friends. I hope I’m learning them quick enough from my girl. I’ve had her for half my life. 12 years. And while I have been preparing myself mentally for the reality of her dying soon; the emotional reality is I am so unprepared. Life happens. And death happens. But please oh please Jesus don’t take her right now…

            

Baptized in Cold Water

Today we did baptisms in the very cold water of Peoples' Pond in Ellensburg. Five students took the plunge (pardon the pun) in their public declaration in their commitment to Jesus Christ. It is so humbling and fun to be asked to baptize someone, and it most definitely causes me to pause and reflect on my own moment of baptism. Each person being baptized was asked 3 questions:

"Do you choose to give up all the ways of this world and seek to be transformed in your mind and actions  - to be like Jesus Christ?"


"Do you choose to give up your right to self-determination and seek to do the will of God in your life - to commit to Jesus Christ as your Lord?"


"Do you choose to reject all the distortions of Satan and seek to live by the truth of God's word - to believe only in Jesus Christ?"


Tough questions right? Ouch. I remember how quickly I answered those questions (or ones very similar) on June 6th 2007 standing next to the same body of water; shivering. Wow I had no idea what I was getting in to! I am so grateful to where the Lord has brought me, and yet look back and shake my head my thought processes back then. Is it like that your whole life? Every time you look back to years past "what in the wide wide world of sports was I thinking?" Perhaps God designed it like that so that we are perpetually learning.

How would you, my hypothetical "audience" answer those questions? Perhaps we all need to ask them more often, and not be afraid of the result.

Romans 6:1-6 "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin."


I pray for each one of those students, that they not forget their commitment, that when life gets rough they will turn headlong into the wind and walk forward on the narrow path that Jesus describes and not duck out backward to the wide path that leads to destruction.

The Way of the Cross: Mark 8:34-38
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”


It's a daily choice.

6 years

I never really thought that I would get into blogging. What with the myspace phase and facebook being so prevalent in our culture... but I guess I thought that it would give me the time and place to update more at length about life and what is happening; thoughts, events, prayers, and musings of life.

Seems crazy that I have lived in Ellensburg for 6 years almost. Time flew by! One minute I'm a freshman; kind of crazy and living my own life and then suddenly, catapulted 5 years ahead in time where I'm an intern with Chi Alpha, being stretched in ways that I cannot fully comprehend and understand yet, and feel an immense amount of love and burden-ness for to college students that I get to hang out with and meet! How did it happen that the time flew by??

Funny, we were just talking about time at church today with Nate's family. There is indeed a time for everything and we have to make the most of every opportunity in our days and lives where we choose to respond in ways that will be glorifying to the Lord. And yet, if we're not looking... it just goes right on by... you miss it and don't use the time you have! I hope I used my last 5.5 years at Central well. It went by so fast sometimes it's hard to tell. Ah well.

Just look for the opportune moment.... every day. (yes that was a Jack Sparrow reference combined with Ephesians 5:16)